The Hardest Person to Take Care of Is Yourself

Parents often express a willingness to die for their children. Most people would do anything for their partner and will bend over backwards to give their pets the best life. But it’s rarer that we apply this kind of selfless love to ourselves. 

One often hears the advice “you need to be your biggest fan” when talking about pursuing a creative, academic, or entrepreneurial goal. But this self-empowering mantra is missing something. Yes, you should want yourself to win, but you should also – desperately – not want yourself to lose. I’m talking about a grown man weeping after a game seven world series loss type of sadness. Hey, if you’re gonna’ be a fan, ride or die. 

Importantly, you shouldn’t not want yourself to lose in the overly-competitive way that makes people bad golf or Mario Party partners. It should come from a place of empathy. In the same way that you would do anything to spare your dog, your partner, or your kids any pain and wish nothing but the best for them, we should love ourselves with the same commitment and fervor.

Unfortunately, it’s so easy not to do this. We take care of our families, crunch to meet work deadlines, and pack our social calendars to show our love and support to our friends. We skip workouts because we’re tired and we say that we’re going to eat healthy but – surprise, surprise – who’s that standing over the kitchen sink hurriedly eating a handful of chips in place of lunch? Yep, that’s us, not taking care of ourselves again.

The thing about not taking care of something is that, eventually, it stops working so good. Joints start to creak. Blades lose sharpness. Lives fall into disrepair when not actively maintained, polished, and repaired. And if we are carrying our kids, pets, and loved ones on our backs, then of course we need to make sure those backs are regularly stretched and massaged. 

A glass of juice is only as fresh as the bottle it comes from. So when we pour ourselves into our families and careers, we should always give our most nurtured and empowered selves. Taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish. It shouldn’t be a luxury, but a prerequisite to caring for everyone around us. When we’re running at peak efficiency, we’re able to apply ourselves wholeheartedly to whatever we set out to do, and that’s always worth the investment.