The 7 Deadly Sins of Screenwriting

For over ten years I’ve worked as a story analyst for companies like Netflix, Disney, and the Black List. I’ve read over 1000 screenplays and pilots in that time and have developed an eye for recognizing what works and what doesn’t. As such, I’ve created my own nifty list of writing choices to avoid. I call them choices, not mistakes, because for every ironclad rule of writing that exists, you can find an incredible script that breaks it. But just because it’s possible to make a three-pointer with your eyes closed, you’re still going to want to be taking more high percentage shots. This list, while solely my opinion, is based on a decade of work, and will help scripts feel more like high percentage shots. 

Without further ado, here is my list (in order of severity) of the 7 Deadly Sins of Screenwriting. 

7. Being Overly Referential

Sometimes writers believe that including a lot of references to other projects will show their industry savvy or will be a clever in-joke to their reader. 

John tries to lift the suitcase, but it doesn’t budge like it was Mjolnir and he isn’t worthy.

Mjolnir might be a household name, and a reader might get a chuckle out of this, but you’re risking the clarity of this beat on a joke that won’t translate to the final product anyway. If your reader isn’t a Marvel fan, this line may confuse them and take them out of the story, which should be avoided at all costs. 

6. Writing Too Much or Too Little

Page length matters. Story analysts are pros, but even they will roll their eyes if they open a PDF and see a 140 page script. It’s not laziness, but an understanding that a script this long likely has pacing or structure issues. Conversely,  a script that’s too short probably doesn’t have enough going on, and is likely all plot and no substance. This isn’t universally true, but more often than not, scripts that are too short or too long do have serious problems. While there’s no magic length, and different genres generally have different page counts, here’s my recommended range.

Feature (90 - 120)*

30-Min Pilot (32 - 38)

60 - Min Pilot (58 - 65)

*My personal sweet spot for features is between 100 - 110 pages. Most writers can tell a fantastic story in 108 pages or less.

5. Typos / Grammar Mistakes

This one should be obvious, but I’ll share my tolerance level: two typos. You can have two typos or grammar mistakes per script and I won’t bat an eye. It happens. I’ve sent scripts off to people with typos I didn’t catch. Nobody is perfect, and it wouldn’t even be worth mentioning in an analysis. But if there’s three or more typos, I may start to question it. If the script is riddled with typos, like ten or more, I’ll know that I’m not dealing with a professional. 

There’s no excuse to have so many mistakes in a script that you’re sending in for professional review. Have some friends look over your script beforehand. Or use the free service CoverflyX to get fellow writers to look over your pages. If I’m really serious about a script, I’ll actually track down a printer and go through my draft with a red pen. Whatever works!

4. Camera Directions. + Transitions

Camera directions and transitions in screenplays are a little like habanero sauce: best if used sparingly. For me, it’s not even so much that the writer is trying to do the job of the director and editors, more so that it’s distracting. All those “cut to’s” and “dissolves” pull me out of the story. Nine times out of ten, there’s a clever way to guide the reader to what you want them to pay attention to without relying on a CLOSE UP. My recommendation for including transitions in your script (or breaking any of these rules) is that it should only be done if it actually makes the story easier to understand. If you’re employing an experimental montage where the transitions between visuals are important, then you might need to use a Match Cut. 

3. Writing What Can’t Be Seen or heard. 

After “Show Don’t Tell,” “Write Only What Can be Seen Or Heard” is probably the most famous and fundamental rule of screenwriting. I’m personally not a hardliner about this. I don’t mind if a script throws in a little color commentary like Jessica sank into her chair with the full weight of her realization. Sure, there’s no way to film “the weight of a realization,” and it’s not something that can be necessarily seen or heard, but these little indulgences can help make a script more readable. Otherwise you’re left with a boring script full of stiff action lines like these:

Carolyn walks to the door.

Jessica looks to Joe.

Mary makes a sad expression.

But what doesn’t work is when writers include important story information in the action.

Rob hands a coffee to Genevieve, his sister who’s been estranged from the family for ten years.

The audience needs to know this information, and since they won’t be reading the script, it needs to be conveyed visually. There are many ways to do this. Maybe Rob makes the coffee a certain way but Genevieve doesn't take it that way anymore, implying it’s been a while. Maybe their dialogue is stilted and awkward. The action description is an often overlooked element of a script, but I’ve found that it’s where the truly great writers distinguish themselves and showcase their creative muscles and voice. 

2. Walls of Text

The term “pacing” always feels a little nebulous, and depending on who you ask, bad pacing is the fault of the structure, or the dialogue, or the plot.  For me, pacing often comes down to readability. A good screenplay has a rhythm to it. There’s a good mix of action and dialogue, cinematic moments, and conversation, which urges the reader along and guides their eye down the page.  Which is why a wall of text can stop a reader in their tracks and cause their eyes to glaze over. Unless you’re writing Wall-E 2, it’s hard to imagine a scenario where paragraphs of description with no dialogue could be justified. I’m not saying it’s impossible (again, there are exceptions to everything) but if we’re talking about increasing the chances of a script breaking through, then it’s a bad idea.

1. Forgetting the Why

By far the most frequent note that I give involves clarity of the protagonist’s objective. Like a curious toddler, I’m always asking “why.” Why are they pursuing their goal? Why is it important to them? What happens if they fail, and why should the audience care? These are some of the fundamental questions in any story and they need clear and satisfying answers in order to suck the reader in. 

If these questions don’t have solid answers, everything else is pointless. When I’m rewriting a script, I’ll probably go over the first 10-20 pages a half a dozen times, and maybe the rest of the script 2-3 times. There’s a reason for that. Nailing the opening pages and clearly establishing your protagonist’s “why” is the most important ingredient in crafting a compelling story.

*Bonus - En Medias Res

En Medias Res is the term for when a story starts with a scene of action or suspense from somewhere in the middle of the story before jumping back to a few days or weeks earlier. I don’t consider this one to be a bad writing choice necessarily, but I see it used so often and without intention that it’s become something of a pet peeve to me.

No doubt you can think of half a dozen successful movies right now that begin in this way. You could even say it’s a common practice. But I would argue that those examples are when this technique is done well, and the vast majority of scripts do not do it well. 

There has to be a reason to do this. Otherwise it’s just a lazy gimmick to hook the reader with an interesting scene of out-of-context action in the hopes that they’ll stick around through act two to see how that action fits in with the larger story.

Movies that play with continuity and perspective use En Medias Res to great effect, like Pulp Fiction or Fight Club. If your script is similar to these, or involves time travel, or is as epic as the Odyssey, then you’re probably using En Medias Res well. If not, maybe just start your story at the beginning. 

That’s my list. Thanks for reading, and let me know if there’s anything I missed!